It is never easy...dealing with Dementia. Sometimes in an effort to ease Mike's anxiety, my well meaning phrase is twisted to support a hopeless argument for not moving into Assisted Living. "The doctors, geriatric social workers and my family are all conspirators. Why don't they just send everything and everyone here so I do not have to change. I have lived 'A Life'. There is too much here to move. Everything I own is a collector's piece. My Typography Library should go to one of the Great libraries (The Printing Museum already declined. It is a good library but none of the books is rare). I am one of the foremost thinkers in Pre-History (It was a hobby.) And, what about 'this person' with me? (he could not remember his girlfriend's name yesterday.) What is she to do? I am used to her." And, so it goes... for twenty four calls yesterday...after the sixth, I stopped picking up. There is little variation in each conversation. Every time is the first time. The messages linger. Eighty-one is Five again.
After a Board meeting this morning, I am going to tour Ocean Side at Falmouth Assisted Living. Last week, I visited Gorham House and Scarborough Terrace. Both places last week, and I suspect the one today, are very much on par-even better than- the excellent care facility where I had my parents. I want to be able to give Harry the best of the best to choose from. I have asked each facility about accommodations for Charlotte, provided her son will pay for it. I suspect, although no one has yet taken her for evaluation, she has 'Moderate' dementia, too. Christ, this is a demoralizing mission.
What a dizzying different path this biography writing has taken. The 'Get out of Jail' divorce card has been invalidated. So..
My AA daily reading today, December 29:
"Kindness and intelligence don't always deliver us from the pitfalls and traps. There is no way to take the danger out of human relationships. "
Barbara Grizzuli Harrison
Relationships with other people are necessary to escape loneliness; however, relationships do not guarantee freedom from pain. Nurturing a meaningful relationship with another human being takes patience, even when we don't have any. It takes tolerance, even when we don't feel it. It takes selflessness, at those very moments our own ego is crying for attention.
Yet, we need relationships with others; they inspire us. We learn who we are and who we can become through relationships. They precipitate our accomplishments. Our creativity is encouraged by them, and so is our emotional and spiritual development.
We can look around us, attentively. We can feel blessed, even when it is a negative situation. Every situation is capable of inspiring a positive step forward. Every situation is meant for our good.
From: Each Day a New Beginning 1982 The Hazelton Foundation
No comments:
Post a Comment